Wednesday, August 28, 2013

26 Sanford, Maine


Hey thank you so much, for getting me the music, I will go through it and if there is anything that I can’t have then I’ll delete it… but it should be fine , thank you, thank you, thank you so much! I can’t wait to get it! I love music so much and have missed it tons.

I’m good for protein power, I still have some of the last container. Thanks though, you don’t need to send any right now.

That is great about Brynn, I am glad that she decided to go, it’s been a constant toss up for her to go or not. I hope she really enjoys her mission.

Things here are ok, we don’t have a lot of investigators or even people who are willing to let us in and talk to them for a few minutes. We are the worst area in the whole district with like no investigators. So to be honest I am having a really hard time staying optimistic about it all. I don’t know if I’m am just a failure as a missionary or if I just suck at working or if I’m not obedient and don’t do things correctly. our district leader is like the MOST obedient person I have ever seen… he takes it to a whole new level (it’s almost a little bit odd) Anyway I always feel like such failure cause I mess up and don’t always do things right even though I am really trying to remember everything and do everything perfect.

Sorry it’s been a long week of a lot of walking and knocking and seeming to get nowhere.

have the opportunity to speak again in church on the eighth, so that’ll be good. I actually love to talk in church (Which REALLY surprises me too!) It gives me an opportunity study harder and to think and pray over what to say and it gives me the opportunity to speak to everyone. I will stress a ton over my talk trying to make it as good though.

Is it sad that you were released from nursery?! or is it happy that you were released from nursery? I liked going in there with you now when I get home I won’t be able to go in with you. I am glad that you liked the video with the chipmunk…. it was a funny little thing. I’ll try and take more of them. I will think over what to say for the ward missionary board, and either send it later today or tonight, just give me time to think.

Any way I love you mom and miss you so much you have no idea how much I miss you and the family and the dogs and just everything this is truly the hardest sacrifice that I have ever had to make, I try so hard to constantly stay focused but you see things, especially being state side, like movies that are out or music on the radio, TV shows, and yes even games although I know it’s stupid, I miss all of it I enjoyed playing with my friends and doing things outside and so much.

I know beyond any doubt I’m where I need to be right NOW, at this time of my life - I know I am where I am supposed to be and that what I am doing is beyond correct and true. I have witnessed and seen how true and amazing this gospel is. I have seen the blessings in my life from serving already and I LOVE it out here.

It is such an amazing feeling to know that I represent the Lord Jesus Christ and My God and that I am his servant carrying his loving word and gospel to people who are lost and who need to hear it and feel of that love. Despite all the yelling, the cursing, the gestures and rude things that happen to me I still love these people and desire so much to give them a gift greater than any they have ever had in their lives - but they just don’t know that.

I don’t know how to break through the shell that these people have put up in most cases and allow the lord to touch their hearts and to "heal them" as the scriptures say. I have gained such a testimony of the scriptures. I love them so much, more than I ever have before. I get two hours a day to devote just to studies and I feel awful if I misuse that precious time that I have. Even during lunch or dinner I love to either play hymns on the piano or study and read things like Jesus the Christ or the bible, they have such power Mom, beyond anything that I have ever realized in my entire life.

I have already read the Book of Mormon through once and I am about half way through it again. I am so blessed to have these sacred texts in my life to be able to cherish up and treasure the words of eternal life and to learn from Gods holy prophets. I hope to take these amazing habits that I’ve learned here on my mission so far and take them with me into the rest of my life. It feels so right to be on a mission.

One of the biggest and scariest thing of being here on my mission and seeing how fast time has gone, is too see how fast I am growing up, it was so easy being a teenager. I wish I could go back sometimes. But I know that I can’t - I need to progress and move on but that scares me. I don’t know what the future holds. I DO KNOW that by trusting and relying on my savior and if I remain true to covenants that I have made with him, that he will carry me through this life and into the eternities at which point I will live with him forever in the celestial kingdom, and to be with God forever. There is no other greater reward of any sort. I am so grateful for this gospel.

Any way I love you mom I miss you tons, tell everyone I love them and miss them too.


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