27 - Sanford, Maine

Hi Mom,

So we have to do emails weird this week, kinda sucks because its labor day, really annoying by the way, and so we are emailing in a hardware store. The sisters need to use the only two computers later so we have to email way early, haven’t even shopped or done laundry yet.

So transfer calls are this Saturday and I’m really nervous, I don’t want to leave I love this ward. I love the sisters and elders in the area and I just really don’t want to have to pack up and start all over again, I’m worried that I will be moved.

I get the opportunity to speak on Sunday so I am super excited for that, it’s on “Following Christ as we try to become better missionaries”, the member of the bishopric that assigned it to me asked me to focus on the attributes of Christ and how by being more Christ-like and following the Saviors teachings we can be better missionaries. I've started taking notes and working on it for studies and I am really praying and struggling because I want it to be a good talk, it might be my last in this ward.

Have you had the chance to go to the temple yet and see the new video? I really desperately want to go see it. the Boston Temple is only two hours away, it’s hard not being able to go?!?! It’s so difficult to not be able to go at all, I still have seventeen months.

How are things going at home with school for Lochlan and Alexander and Christine? How is the wedding planning business going?

Things are kinda hard here, we are the worst looking area in terms of teaching and stuff and in the past five weeks I have only taught a total of 16 lessons, in five weeks?!?! Now realistically the brethren want us teaching 20 a WEEK. I haven’t even taught 20 in five weeks and so it’s hard to not at times feel like a failure. I KNOW that you just have to keep pressing on and just have the hope and faith that there is always a sunrise, "the night is darkest right before the dawn" and often that is when it gets hardest to see the designs of God. When it’s just so dark and bleak that you have trouble taking that next step, you don’t know if you’ll fall…. there could be a chasm or something else that can cause us to stumble and often there is but we need to trust so much in God and in his sight and how from where he sits above us he can see all and knows all and he is truly within all.

Please don’t get me wrong I am not depressed or discouraged, it’s just a constant struggle, Satan works hard to pull at us and to push, and even though we may not see success as so many people around us and around the world see I know I have to just trust in God. I want to know that I am pleasing him and doing what he wants. I just have to trust that if I work as hard as i can and truly do my best then the lord will do the rest and be OK with my efforts.

Any way I love you mom and I miss you

Love Elder Dean